This year….I will clean the bathroom once or twice when there aren’t guests coming.

This year….I will not get upset when one of my children tells me 10 minutes before the bus comes, that they have to take a ‘built-to-scale’ diorama of an authentic Ute Indian village to school today.

This year….I will train my children to put their apple cores in the garbage instead of under the couch, to play something on the piano besides “Heart and Soul”, and to say, “May I ask who’s calling please?”, instead of “Who is this!?!”.

This year….I will try to clean out the refrigerator before my family starts asking, “What’s that smell?”

This year….I will spend less time making homemade valentines, sewing matching shorts for the 4th of July, putting together costumes for Halloween, shopping for Christmas presents, and more time talking to the children I claim to be doing all of these things for.

This year….at least once, I will put down my broom when my preschoolers ask me to read them a story, instead of telling them to wait until I get my chores done.

This year….I will only nag my children to clean their rooms after I’ve actually cleaned mine.

This year….I will, on occasion, take my real family to church, instead of the plastic ones I bathe, dress up and threaten with their life if they misbehave, that I usually take.

This year….I will use a whole roll of film on the baby, just so that later, we have evidence that she really was a baby.

This year….I will actually check to see if the top of the refrigerator needs cleaning, then next year I’ll clean it.

This year….I will try to laugh at the appropriate times, instead of when the baby falls asleep in her spaghetti, bites the cat’s tail, and learns to say, “You rock!”.

Or maybe….I’ll wait until next year.

Originally published January 4, 2006 in the Crossroads Journal.