Going on vacation with children is an adventure that requires more patience than Job and more endurance than the greatest Olympians. So why I thought I could handle it is completely beyond me, but we headed off for a few fun-filled days in California anyway. After three bathroom breaks, a quick stop for dinner, and a flat tire, we found ourselves motoring through Payson, wondering if we had what it takes.

Now that we are home I find myself listening to the comforting sounds of the water spinning around in the washer and thinking of the ocean spray as the waves crash on the beach. I fight the ketchup stains on the kids’ shirts and remember Ruby’s on the Pier, where several people stopped to count us as we seated ourselves in a cozy little booth. Home again, the task of unpacking and washing the mountains of clothes seems less daunting as I pull the caramel apple sucker off of my toddlers’ t-shirt and remember the kids running away from the waves and gathering shells on the shore.

Laundry Day always brings back memories of events (and meals) of the past week here at our house. Anyway, I just had to share this, so here, for your consideration, is my list of:

Things That Have Been Through My Washer And Dryer That I’m Sure Were Never Meant To Be Laundered:

• 543 rocks
• enough change to fill a couch, but not enough to buy a dress
• a cracked bottle of blue fingernail polish (it looked better on fingernails than it did on my whites)
• a small bottle of eyedrops (we think this may be the reason my husband’s eyes were dilating one at a time)
• a yard full of grass
• a colorful assortment of small bugs, all dead
• several still unidentified pieces of paper
• one piece of corn on the cob (minus the cob)
• 1 piece of ABC (already been chewed) gum per year or until I forget again why I don’t let my kids chew gum
• 9 or so small animals (mostly stuffed)
• buttons that seem to have come from nowhere, until I’m getting someone dressed 5 minutes before church and discover the lonely buttonhole
• enough safety pins to replace ALL the missing buttons in my house
• several small tubes of LIPSMACKERS (now empty)
• a whole box of crayons, one crayon per load

And today, it was a jar of red glitter, half full (the other half is all over the clothes). I guess the kids will sparkle a little more than usual this week.

I guess it’s obvious that I don’t usually clean out pockets before I wash, but it’s so entertaining to see what comes out of the dryer when it buzzes. Maybe you have better success with your laundering ventures. If so, remember me next time it’s Laundry Day. Oh yeah, and you know how they talk about “innumerable as the sands of the sea”? It’s true, and it all came out in the wash.

Originally published October 19, 2005 in the Crossroads Journal.